Write Myself to Sleep

I honestly hate internet blogging. I did like Xanga when I had one, but that was only because it was middle school and I was self-absorbed. I thought my blogs were interesting, recounting my days with photographs and my angsty teen poetry; poems I once thought were good. The reason I hate blogging has nothing to do with people who think that their lives are so important and wish to relay the details of their days: what they ate for breakfast, how many calories they consumed, the fact that they washed the car; thinking that people who stumble upon their site actually care, when in reality, they’re probably laughing at the strange reality that “this girl has a boyfriend?!”

 The fulcrum of my hatred for internet blogging, is attributed to the frustration of actually setting one up. It takes me hours. It might just be my overanalyzing things, a combination of my OCD and perfectionism, but I will sit in front of the computer and stare, waiting for inspiration to kick in so I can actually title my blog or write something in my about me section. More importantly however, is the matter of choosing the right template. A template that will exert the niceities of my personality through graphic design, color scheme and font style. You can tell a lot about a person by the template they choose.

In the back of my mind, while going through the list of possible templates for my site, I find myself subconsciously asking myself what this template says about me. Will it entice people to visit my blog, and if they do, what does it say about me that I chose this template? What will people think of me if I choose this template? Internet blogging communities have become realities. “Communities” that are real and vivid, that people actually live in.

 Through the internet, through internet blogging, people know each other through the decorum of their sites. The template I choose will decide my internet identity. I don’t have time to get to know people, for them to absord my mannerisms in person, so everything they absorb is through my design choices. I can’t take the pressure sometimes. As we know, appearance shadows content, so as superficial as it may sound, what I write here doesn’t really matter if my site is aesthetically appealing.

 I’m not sure if I made the right decision, but I can always change my template. If I change my template though, will it really change the identity I would have already established for myself? My fate is sealed, and hopefully it’s pleasant.