Archive for November, 2007

the castle ghosts of england

the shadow cast from a pencil along the paper
in the late night electric light
dares me
to write something beautiful
but not just a stirring of cheap emotion
by the scribbling of some line
that you cannot quite place though it is
vaguely familiar
like some sitcom rerun as seen through half a dream

or even an effort to finally convey
an intangible feeling
or razorblade breathing
tortured sighs
and acid churning stomachs
tired veins
no, not tonight
for i have learned that…the illusion of communication
weans thin long after disillusion has
manifested itself

tonight doors creak and creatures creep
along corners and in and out of closets
with their shadowy frames and long fingernails
instilling once again that bacillus of
worthlessness
and self disgust
masked fury in the form of fear and resignation
now i can only hope that some day i can create beauty
to make up for my ugliness
and the demons will be killed
by unconditional love

maggie

and i love you

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I Saw Elvis and the Grim Reaper at the ATM.

Halloween was fun. I ended up going as a thunder cloud since Hazel had a gold piece of board shaped like a lightening bolt. She found it in the depths of Chinatown and actually carried it all the way back to Union Square. I wore all gray and black, and even painted my face gray. Then I attached the lightening bolt to me with string, and added two white balloons to the string so they could hang like clouds on the side of my hip.

Emily decided to go as a raccoon and Blair went as a bundle of balloons. They weren’t ready yet when Ali arrived (She was Dora the Explorer) so we went along without them, thinking we’d meet them at the Parade. Ali and I didn’t realize how cold it was. It was rather warm during the day and we didn’t think the change in weather would be so drastic. I have to remember that the buildings make it colder, windier. We stood at the corner of twelve and six waiting for the parade to begin. The crowd expanded to the point where it was uncomfortable to stand there and it was bitterly cold. Blair and Emily were unable to find us in the crowd, so we decided we would meet at this restaurant across the street that we thought was The French Roast. After a half hour of the parade, which wasn’t that exciting, nor could we really see it, Ali and I decided we were freezing and hungry. It was nearly impossible to push through the crowd, and they seemed rather angry with me and my lightening bolt, and they didn’t find it cute when I apologized for electracuting them.

Ali pushed her way through the door of the restaurant, but me and the lightening bolt were stuck in a large swarm of people. I managed to pull myself to the door by grabbing onto the door handle, and all of a sudden Ali’s hand pushed through the crowd and pulled me through. The restaurant however, turned out to be a small, dinky diner as opposed to The French Roast, so we told Emily and Blair that we would meet them back at the dorm.

On the way back, I stopped at an ATM at the Chase and found myself in between a guy dressed as Elvis and the Grim Reaper. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself. I found so much humor in it. It just made me realize how much I love this holiday and how much fun it is, but from the parade and the crowd that was there, I also realized that Halloween really isn’t for kids anymore. There are barely any trick-or-treaters out like there used to be. Halloween has just become a big party for adults. I find this sad. This has always been my favorite holiday, and part of the reason is because of the innocence of it all; kids dressing up and playing make believe. This may just be because I literally am still a twelve year old, I mean I painted the solar system on my pumpkin.

 The rest of the night was spent watching Young Frankenstein in the Union Square Lounge and eating candy and drinking hot chocolate. I think we fell asleep by midnight. It was a good Halloween.

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