the shadow cast from a pencil along the paper
in the late night electric light
dares me
to write something beautiful
but not just a stirring of cheap emotion
by the scribbling of some line
that you cannot quite place though it is
vaguely familiar
like some sitcom rerun as seen through half a dream
or even an effort to finally convey
an intangible feeling
or razorblade breathing
tortured sighs
and acid churning stomachs
tired veins
no, not tonight
for i have learned that…the illusion of communication
weans thin long after disillusion has
manifested itself
tonight doors creak and creatures creep
along corners and in and out of closets
with their shadowy frames and long fingernails
instilling once again that bacillus of
worthlessness
and self disgust
masked fury in the form of fear and resignation
now i can only hope that some day i can create beauty
to make up for my ugliness
and the demons will be killed
by unconditional love
maggie
and i love you
